Sunday, October 29, 2006


The sage knows the beginning and the end of consciousness.
Its production and passing away--
The sage knows that it came from nowhere and returns to nowhere.
And is empty of reality, like a conjuring trick.

When body and mind dissolve,
They do not exist anywhere,
Any more than musical notes lay heaped up anywhere.

All the elements of being come into existence
After having been non-existent;
And having come into existence pass away

For one who is free from views
There are no ties,
For one who is delivered by understanding
There are no follies;
But those who grasp after views and philosophical opinions,
They wander about in the world annoying people.

Wakefulness is the way to life.
The fool sleeps
As if he were already dead,
But the master is awake
And he lives forever

With single-mindedness
The master quells his thoughts.
He ends their wandering.
Seated in the cave of the heart,
He finds freedom.

As long as people desire Enlightenment
And grasp after it,
It means that delusion is still with them;
Therefore, they who are following the way of Enlightenment
Must not grasp at it,
And if they reach Enlightenment
They must not linger in it.

Few cross over the river.
Most are stranded on this side.
On the riverbank they run up and down.

But the wise man, following the way,
Crosses over, beyond the reach of death.

Free from desire,
Free from possessions,
Free from the dark places of the heart.

Free from attachment and appetite,
Following the seven lights of awakening,
And rejoicing greatly in his freedom,
In this world the wise man
Becomes himself a light,
Pure, shining, free

However many holy words you read,
However many you speak,
What good will they do you
If you do not act upon them?

Do not look for bad company
Or live with those who do not care.
Find friends who love the truth.

It is you who must make the effort.
The masters only point the way.

Never neglect your work
For another's
However great his need.

Your work is to discover your work
And the with all your heart
To give yourself to it

Do only what you do not regret

We are what we think.
All that we are arises with our thoughts.
With our thoughts we make the world.

If energy is applied too strongly,
It will lead to restlessness,
And if energy is too lax
It will lead to lassitude.
Therefore, keep your energy in balance
And in this way focus your attention

Life purely.
Be quiet. Do your work, with mastery.

In this world
Hate never yet dispelled hate.
Only love dispels hate.
This is the law,
Ancient and inexhaustible.

You too shall pass away.
Knowing this, how can you quarrel?

Look to your own faults,
What you have done or left undone.
Overlook the faults of others.

The greatest gain is to give to others;
The great loss is to receive without gratitude

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Enlightened Wealth

In 1949 the inauguration of Mother’s Temple took place, and the dedicated
labor of ten years was consecrated in Sri Bhagavan’s presence. In front of the
Mathrubuteswara Shrine, the Jubilee Hall was built to accommodate the
ever-increasing number of devotees. A large granite couch was installed with
elaborate carvings, spread with a silken mattress for Bhagavan’s comfort. As a
big pillow was placed on one side for Bhagavan to keep his arms, another behind
him to lean against and a third one at his feet, the actual seating space was
considerably reduced. One day when Suri Nagamma entered the hall Sri Bhagavan
said, looking at his attendants, "See how this mattress slips from one side to
another! People think that it will be comfortable for Bhagavan if there is a
costly mattress. It is, however, not possible to sit on this restfully. Why
this? It would be much more comfortable if I sat on the stone seat itself. As
told in the story about the Sadhu, people think that Swami is undergoing great
hardship when he lives in a thatched shed and lies on a stone bench, and so they
make a fuss. It will perhaps be better if, like that Sadhu in the story, I
gather some stones similar to those I had in the Virupaksha cave, take them to
whichever place I go, and spread them on a mattress like this".

A devotee said , " what is that story of the Sadhu which Bhagavan has now mentioned?" Whereupon Bhagavan began relating the following story.

A great Mahatma was living as a Sadhu under a tree in a forest. He always used to keep with him three stones. While sleeping, he used to keep one of them under the head, another under the waist and the thrid under the legs and cover himself with a sheet. When it rained, the body used to be on the stones and so the water would flow underneath, and the water that fell on the sheet too, would flow down. So there was no disturbance to his sleep; he used to sleep soundly. When sitting, he used to keep the three stones together like a hearth and sit upon them comfortably. Hence snakes and other reptililes didn't trouble him nor did he trouble them, for they used to crawl through the slits under the stones. Somebody used to bring him food and he would eat it. And so, there was nothing for him to worry about.

"A king, who came to that forest for hunting, saw this Sadhu and felt, 'What a pity!How much must he be suffering by having to adjust his body suitably to those stones and sleep thereon. I will take him home and keep him with me for at least one or two days and make him feel comfortable'. So thinking, he went home and sent two of his soldiers with a palanquin and bearers, with instructions to invite the Sadhu respectfully and bring him to his palace. He also said that if they didn't succeed in bringing the Sadhu, they would be punished. They came and saw the Sadhu and told him that the king had ordered them to bring him to the palace and that he should come. When he showed disinclination to go with them, they said they would be punished if they returned without him. So they begged of him to come, if only to save them from the trouble. As he didn't want them to get into troubled on his account, he agreed to go with them. What was there for him to pack up? A kaupeenam, a sheet and those three stones. He folded and kept the akupeenam in that sheet, kept those three stones also in that sheet and tied them together. 'What is this? This Swami is bringing with him some stones when he's going to a Raja's palace! Is he mad or what?' thought those soldiers. Anyway, he got into the palanquin with his bundle and came to the king. The Raja saw the bundle, and thinking it contained some personal effects; took him into the palace with due respect, feasted him properly and arranged a tape cot with a mattress of silk cotton to sleep upon. The Sadhu opened his bundle, took out the three stones, spread them on the bed, covered himself with the sheet and slept as usual.

"The next morning the king came, bowed to him with respect and asked, 'Swami, is it comofrtable for you here?'

Swami: 'Yes. What's there wanting here? I am always happy'.

"King: 'That's not it, Swami. You were experienceing hardships in the forest by having to sleep on those stones. Here this bed and this house must be giving you happiness. That is why I am asking'.

"Swami:'The bed that was there is here also. The bed that is here is there also. So I have the same happiness everywhere. There is nothing wanting at any time, either in regard to my sleep or to my happiness'.

"The king was puzzled and looked at the cot He saw that the three stones were on it. Whereupon, the king immediately prostrated himself before the Sadhu and said , 'Oh Great Man! Without knowing your greatness I brought you here with the intention of making you happy. I didn't know that you are always in a state of happiness, and so I behaved in this foolish manner. Please excuse me and bless me'. After making up for his mistake in this way, he allwed the Sadhu to go his way. This is the story of the Sadhu."

"So in the eyes of Mahatmas, the free life is the real happy life?" asked that devotee. "What else? Life in big builidings like this is like a prison life. Only I may be an 'A' class prisoner. When I set on mattresses like these, I feel that I am sitting on prickly pears. Where is peace and comfort?" said Bhagavan.

Next day that mattress was taken away and the usual mattress was spread on the couch. Even so, several people thought that it might be better to leave Bhagavan to a free life like that of the Sadhu. But bhagavan had to stay there alone, like a parrot in the cage of the devotees, because the devotees never leave him free.

So it is with the sages, that they need very little and still can
feel contentment with such small provisions because they're in harmony with the universe. Thanks be to God. Allelujah

Friday, October 06, 2006


I used to be the worst at mornings. My dad would get so mad at me when I would sleep in on summer days until like 1PM in the afternoon. Most likely because he got up at 6AM and was outside working with Pat at around 7AM. I think since last year, I learnt to discipline myself to get up early in the mornings. For my new job at SPIKE, helping people with special needs and intellectual disabilities. I have two overnight shifts where it's 3-11PM and I sleep over at the home care, then wake up at 6AM try to get everyone ready for their buses. The hardest thing is getting them ready a little bit ahead of schedule so that I can leave at 8AM and catch my bus. To get to school it takes about a little over an hour since it's at the opposite side of the city and I need to connect with two buses. It can be a real hassel but I think I can do it. If I can get the guys ready ahead of time and then let them wait for the bus for about 10 minutes, then I head out and catch my bus it won't be too bad. Unfortunately, I didn't plan it out so well and missed my first class at 9 30AM this morning, which disappointed me quite a bit since there's a test in that class next Friday. It was the first class that I missed so far in university. Hopefully it doens't become a bad habit for me.

I just have to encourage the guy I'm working with to help out a little. Even though, he's still working with other chores like cleaning and stuff. I just need those last 15 minutes between 7 45 and 8AM, which are critical, and then I should be able to make my bus on time and not miss anymore classes.

Even though I was pretty upset with missing my classes it might've been a good thing, because I was extremely light headed, once I left work, started to slow down my mental processes and went out to the bus stop. When I got to school, I just went to the Arts student lounge and fell asleep on the couch listening to Krishna Das on my ipod.

This day wasn't so bad, just another learning experience. That is my major mode of operations these days; to turn all negatives into something positive. That way I don't repeat the same mistakes as often and don't live with as many regrets.

Tonight, I'll try to study some more sociology on the online program and take their practice tests and then maybe watch Syriana off my computer. Thank y0u god for the equanimity in my life. thanks and praise go out to you. now and forever. amen.

Tuesday, October 03, 2006


The pain continued this morning. Pat had to wait five minutes for me to get my lunch ready and she was yelling at me, asking why I was so lazy that I couldn't make it last night. We left at 7:05AM this morning. She was ready at around 7:03AM. I tried to bite my tongue the best I possibly could. This is the person who for weeks would leave the house for around 7:25AM to around 7:30AM and at those times I was ready at around 7:10AM. And I know if I were to even point that out to her she would just get mad. That kind of logic which points our her own mistakes when she's blaming me for the same ones, is like some kind of activation switch for her to go on a rampage. The sick thing is that, she wants to hear that kind of thing so she can feel justified for that kind of anger. The times when I actually tried to explain my side of things it only made her more mad.

The main reason I have to put up with her behaviour is that I live outside the city and she's my only mode of transportation because the city buses don't go past the perimeter highway. She'll usually drop me off at a bus stop and then I take the bus from there to university at the other side of the city. There's a deep kind of frustration in that, but it's like a fire of yoga. Meher Baba would really be hard and disciplined with his disciples. He would post schedules of what they were supposed to do and if they waivered from it one bit, he would get on their case big time.

Now, I certainly don't think that Pat is a sage, but she is a good tool to learn certain aspects of life. I'm definitely not as egotistical because of her. I learn to stay disciplined which helps me, because my room is usually a mess. As the saying goes, "the best lessons in life are the hardest ones to learn."

I have to do my best to treat her and accomodate her for her obvious obcessive compulsion disorders and her deep insecurities. Logic and reasoning are not her strong points that I have to live very humbly and live with her like a servant. A great sage of the past is one of the inspirations of my life in how to deal with my parents. He was born divine, in that he didn't have to do any sadhana to be enlightened. His parents would abuse him and make him do most of the work at home and in the fields. He simply pretended to be stupid and a simpleton and since he had no egotistic attachment to anything, he didn't have any problems with serving his ignorant family.

"Once a leader of a band of thieves and murderers went to the temple of the
goddess Bhadrakali to offer in sacrifice a dull, unintelligent human being
resembling an animal. Such sacrifices are nowhere mentioned in the Vedas and
were concocted by the robbers for the purpose of gaining material wealth. Their
plan was foiled, however, when the man who was to have been sacrificed escaped,
so the chief robber sent his henchmen out to find him. Searching through fields
and forests in the darkness of night, the robbers came to a rice field and saw
Jada Bharata, who was sitting on high ground guarding the field against the
attacks of wild boars. The robbers thought Jada Bharata would be a perfect
sacrifice. Their faces shining with happiness, the robbers bound him with strong
ropes and brought him to the temple of the goddess Kali. Jada Bharata, because
of his complete faith in the protection of the Supreme Lord, did not protest.
There is a song by a famous spiritual master that reads, "My Lord, I am now
surrendered unto You. I am Your eternal servant, and if You like You can kill
me, or if You like You can protect me. In any case, I am fully surrendered unto
You."The robbers bathed Jada Bharata, dressed him in new silk garments, and
decorated him with ornaments and garlands. They fed him a sumptuous last meal
and brought him before the goddess, whom they worshiped with songs and prayers.
Jada Bharata was forced to sit before the deity. Then, one of the thieves,
acting as the chief priest, raised a razor-sharp sword to slit Jada Bharata's
throat so they could offer Kali his warm blood as liquor.But the goddess could
not bear this. She understood that the sinful thieves were about to kill a great
devotee of the Lord. Suddenly, the form of the deity burst open and the goddess
herself appeared, her body burning with an intense, intolerable effulgence. The
infuriated goddess flashed her blazing eyes and displayed her fierce, curved
teeth. Her eyes, crimson orbs, glowered, and she appeared as if she were
prepared to destroy the entire cosmos. Leaping violently from the altar, she
quickly decapitated all the rogues and thieves with the very sword with which
they had intended to kill the saint Jada Bharata."

So, with this lesson and that of Lord Parasimha who saved his devotee from his demonic parents, I have to simply serve both worlds. Which are in reality only one. I think that's it for today. Thank you Lord, for all your grace and patience with my troubled soul. Satgurunath Maharaj Ki Jay.

Sunday, October 01, 2006


That is the power to leave your body consciously and enter into a new one. In regards on how to do this Swami Rama explains:

"It is simple, " Swamiji replied. "The first step is to overcome your identification with your body. 'This body is me' or 'I am this body' is what causes consciousness to remain bound. Free your consciousness from the identification with your body. Then you will neitherfind yourself the doer of your action nor be affected by the fruits of your action. "

"This technique has been described in the third chapter of the yoga sutra..."

Yesterday after work, I was feeling soo sick. My sinus were flared up, my throat was constantly dry and I had a headache which made me not have a good sense of balance. So, it was Saturday, and I was done work at 4PM and when I got picked up by my step-mom Pat and went home, I went straight to bed. Now, I didn't feel tired enough to fall asleep but instead I decided to watch some of my new movies I got. I ended up watching Munich about the rivalries between the muslim and jewish undercover wars after the tragedy that happened in 1972 Olympic games in Munich.

The general story line was that after the killings of the Israeli olympic athletes by the Arab terrorist group called Black September. An undercover operation is conceived to kill most of the main members of the muslim group. Eventually near the end of the movie after a lot of deaths over this conflict they start asking themselves the common sense questions like:

"When will the killing stop?"

"Until they're all destroyed."

"What about the replacements?"

"We'll kill them too."

And at that point I couldn't watch the movie. Both sides just kept on accumulating more deaths. The Israeli government would bomb refugee camps in the Arab countries which wasn't read about in the papers. In turn the muslim groups would organize terrorist attacks which were more public.

In a strange way, I sort of felt responsible. In a small way, I felt like I had a desire for these wars to be resolved by more bloodshed. But I knew it had to stop, all these wars are infected by the suffering of desire which buddha explains in his Four Noble Truths Sermon.

For the play of consciousness is to be realized we have to just stop and be conscious of what exactly we are doing and meaning of it all. What are these desires we have in for short term and long term happiness. How real are they and would it really mean that our lives are over if we give up these desires? It's not saying that we should stop living, but more to the point, that we should be aware and conscious of what we're doing so that our current actions aren't deluded by what we see, such as maya.

Now, after I stopped the movie I went to go have soup because my stomach felt like crap and I didn't want to have anything else. I finished that, and I noticed that I hadn't done my chores for the day nor washed the dishes. So, when I put my bowl away, Pat asked if I was going to wash the dishes? I told her no, because I was sick (which even though it was visible in my physical demeanor, but I guess she hadn't noticed or was stuck in her own little world).

She then went on to say, "Well, who's going to do them? You're saying that the kitchen should stay a mess like this for the rest of tomorrow, because you're going to work in the morning."

"I'll try my best to finish them in the morning"

"Don't give me that crap Tyrone" she replied with inaudible mutterings.

This is the life I have to play out, it's not that fun at times. In years past I used to actually try to reason with my parents, but that would cause more arguments. I realized I couldn't change them, even if I saw it to be logical to make a few positive changes , which were merely suggestions. These however only added fuel to the fire. Some people like to suffer in their own way and only like to progress at their own pace. Which when I contemplated, was only natural.

I was silent after her last remark.It's a play of consciousness, we're all like little children, I thought to myself. There's no way in helping the situation. I felt an enormous frustration. I sort of made a public display by just going to the kitchen table, holding myself up with my arms straight on it, just trying to convince myself that I don't have to let myself lose my temper because of her ignorance. Because I mean, if she was my real mom, I'd like to think that first she would see that I wasn't feeling well, without me having to say anything. And second, understanding that I wasn't feeling well to do my chores.

This was one battle that I couldn't win. But the war kept going, because after that moment of frustration, I went to my room to turn my music on loud ( my most common form of rebellion) and then decided that I might as well shave my hair, because it was getting long anyways. I saw this as symbolic that like the swamis I'm renouncing her ignorance and I'm not going to let it get to me. The other thing to consider which I learned from Baba Muktananda and his guru Bhagwas Nityananda that the ignorance you see in others also belongs partly to yourself.

I ended up waking up early in the morning doing the dishes then heading out to work for the day. I have a few tests in school in the next two weeks, so the added pressure hopefully doesn't push me over the edge, if it already hasn't done so already.

Even though I'm complaining so much, I'm still very thankful to God for his grace in helping me through these very depressing situations. Many spiritual seekers have to go through much physically, mentally and spiritually difficult tasks that break us and see things in a different way. A clairity should emerge from the ashes like the phoenix analogy.

Dealing with Pat and all her fear mongering discipline isn't so bad if I don't take it personally. It makes me stronger and when I'm ready to deal with other conflicts in daily life, them seem petty im comparisen. It's the classic teaching of accomodation of 'to be in the world but not of the world'. That's enough for today, but as you might guess , I still many issues related to these to deal with. Peace and love, sincerely yours, tyrone.