Sunday, November 19, 2006


It makes me think about respect for life. ive struggled with depression quite a bit, and only recently gotten a grip on it by that sense of surrender,acceptance and deep breathing. i think of those dark nights and wonder,''wow, that was pretty bad'' it doesnt even seem real, cuz i think logically, if i was in that much psychological pain, maybe i shouldve just ended. but just a sense of responsability, and remember my friends who've struggled with it as well gave balance to my perspective. my meditation certainly gives a good support to trials like that. and i still remember a preacher man, t.d.jakes saying in one of his sermons, that if you want to get to high spots in your life, you have to bear with the deep lows that come along with it.

meher baba after a certain realization through meditation, had trouble trying to stay grounded. he had a very peculiar act of bringing himself back down to normal consciousness. in his room, he would spend quite some time , banging his forehead on the floor. and it just makes me think of his great determination to unite his spiritual consciousness back with normal consciousness, so that he could properly communicate with others and help them efficiently. and then there was simon of the desert, who lived on a pillar above the sand. he didnt have any protection from the elements and would get lots of wounds, from the desert winds. after a while the wounds didnt even have time to heal before the maggots would start to eat the substance from the puss of his wounds. when others were disgusted by this and perplexed by his behaviour, he just said plainly that the bugs themselves, are also the children of god, and thought nothing of it. and THATS the humility of life that i want to establish. not to make a show of it. but if necessary, i am able to endure tremendous pain of body, but for the sake of the spirit of god, endure it nevertheless. well, i should get going to work. peace everyone. one love.

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